What if the Piece Ends on the Dominant?
NY Philharmonic to install new speedy exit ramp for patrons
“…The new ramp, which resembles an extremely fast escalator, will run from the middle of the hall, between Rows M and N, and ascend to an exit door at the loge level. Patrons will now be able to find themselves on Broadway and West 65th Street in record time. “They should be able to exit the building in a matter of seconds, outta there even before the first idiot yells “brava,” said a Philharmonic spokesperson.
“This ramp will automatically start up during the final chords of the last piece of every program, and it will be running and ready for use even before the music has stopped” said the spokesperson. “It’s connected to a state-of-the-art computerized ‘Schenker Sensor’, which collects all the pitch data in previous passages, collates it and then can accurately identify the arrival of the true tonic. It then sends an electric impulse that throws a switch—on goes the escalator and, presto-change-o—out goes your patron….”
